Kyle was a military kid.
Going to three different middle schools and transferred high schools in the middle of his senior...Was This the Reason Why??
We moved to Virginia from Wisconsin the day after his high school gradation....Was this Cause of It??
He received his drivers license in July passing his test on the first try... I remember he was so proud and happy that day; immediately texting Grandpa with this news.
A few weeks after; he had his first fender bender... Could this have played a role?
Maybe there was was a problem at school...We don't really know why it happened; just that it did.
Was it his difficulty to communicate or Maybe the ADHD?
It was the day after his youngest brother's 7th birthday. My parents ( Kyle's grandparents) were visiting from Illinois that weekend to celebrate with us..
The weekend was full of fun activities and I still see the joy on his face as we spent time as a family celebrating Jacob's day .
So why??..I have ask this question to myself a million times since …
It happened on a Tuesday; Taking place on the campus of the community college he attended; requiring his death to be fully investigated and an autopsy of his body.
All of his devices to include his computer and phone were confiscated for forensics.. Was it really a suicide ..Could it have been something else?
Our van and his backpack were also fully searched. Security cameras were investigated to find some other cause.
Suicide is a default determination for a death and given only after the full investigation fails to conclude any other reason for it.
He never went to the hospital as he was transported to the medical examiner instead.
All that was left was his body; craving to hold him, kiss him, and being alive again. I was forced to tell him Good-bye; but this isn't how it works.
Children buried their parents not the other way around.
I failed as mother; couldn't keep him safe. I failed to prevent it; even with my training.
My head goes through his every motion and utterance that he made. I had missed any signs indicating something was wrong.
But I am not alone; his grandfather and dad were with him that weekend too.
They had same training as me to prevent it.
If any indicators were present of what he was about to do; none of us could see them to prevent this tragedy.
Leaving me to question if the fault was really mine...All of us missed the indicators; if they were even there at the time.
The three of us, trained to prevent suicide and all us; together with him the immediate days prior.; Not one of us; could stop the horrific tragedy.
Understanding this failure was the burning question in my heart; there because he lived and then died from suicide.
Life felt divided at first and there are days it still does.
The time before his death and the life there after.
All I knew is I loved my son; a love that's unconditional.
His life now included his death, however, hard to accept.
Unconditional Love is Accepting a Child and EVERYTHING about them; including all the stuff about them that we don't just t like.
Without accepting his death; I couldn't fully accept his life.
A life so beautiful that it couldn't be deny.
So ,I learned to accept his death; and through KYVO;
We Work together in Life; in hopes of making it better.
Mother and son continue to bless each other; and working together to be a Greater Blessing for Others
Kyle James Thomas Fascaldo, 19, of Fredericksburg, died September 13, 2016. He was born April 29, 1997 in Valhalla, New York, to Thomas Patrick Fascaldo and Julie Annette van Ommeren (nee Spohr). He became a son to E. Brian van Ommeren (Sergeant First Class, U.S. Army, Retired) February 12, 2005 when Julie and Brian married.
Kyle attended schools around the United States as a child of a military family, including Buena Vista High School in Sierra Vista, AZ where he participated in JROTC and Archery programs, finally graduating from William Horlick High School in Racine, WI, with honors. He was enrolled at Germanna Community College majoring in mechanical engineering.
Kyle was a new member of the Singles Branch of the Church of Jesus Christ and Later Day Saints in Fredericksburg. His passions in life were math, Yu-Gi-Oh and his family. He was a loving son, grandson, brother, nephew, cousin, and mostly a friend to all he knew. He will be missed by all whose lives he touched.
Kyle is survived by his parents Brian and Julie of Fredericksburg; his brothers Joshua Fascaldo and Jacob van Ommeren, both at home, as well as his step brothers Specialist Spencer van Ommeren, with the U.S. Army, and B. Teague van Ommeren of Spring Hill, FL; his father and stepmother Thomas Fascaldo and Beth and their children Kaylee and Connor of Elon, NC. He also leaves his maternal grandparents, J. Richard and Ruth Spohr of Atwater, IL; and his step grandparents, Ronald and Johanna van Ommeren of Racine, WI. He is also survived by his maternal aunt and uncle, Elizabeth and Kevin Groves, and their children, Allison and Aidan of Atwater, IL, as well as his step father’s family; Marc and December van Ommeren and their son Cormac of Racine, WI; Gary van Ommeren and his partner Robin Thompson of Milwaukee, WI; and Stephen and Elystiani van Ommeren and their sons Camden and Landon of Racine, WI. He was preceded in death by his paternal grandmother Maria Fascaldo.
Found and Son Funeral Home in Fredericksburg is in charge of arrangements. There will not be a visitation. The memorial service and celebration of his life will be held on Saturday, September 24, 2016 at 11:00 a.m. at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, 20 Boscobel Road, Fredericksburg, VA. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that you consider donations to the LDS General Missionary Fund, with envelopes that will be provided at the service. The family also requests to all military members and those whose place of employment has Suicide Prevention Training, to please provide a brief and dedicate it to the memory of Kyle.
Posted by Tom Fascaldo
When a heart breaks it feels like it is split in two ...when your child dies, the heart is not broken, but punctured and the center is removed; leaving a void from the child as you must now say good-bye. I know it is only temporary as I will see him again, and in time that hole will begin to close, but the scar will remain. A mother's love will never end and the child she holds so dear is still in her heart but only in a different way. As it is for all that knew Kyle, we will see him again someday. So thank you all, I feel your love and support. I send my love back to you for I know you are missing him too and my thoughts are with all of you. We are bonded by our love for Kyle and the love he had for each us. It is in each heart that he touched, as a touch can't be undone, it is there that we will find Kyle and he will be around. When you are missing him, look to your family as Kyle touched their hearts too and there you will see Kyle. He remains in our hearts; a piece of Kyle is within each of you. So I ask you to please hug another and hold on tight so that piece that is Kyle will get a hug from his mom. I love all you dearly, and Thank you again for your love and support